If
you've developed a short attention span since summer is currently showering us
with its shine, take a breather and listen to a sharply short song. Sample an early
self-titled Beastie Boys morsel or get pumped up with Battles' Dominican
Fade, a breviloquent blast of audio excellence. These selections are all under
two minutes in length.
Our first entry holds the world record for the
shortest song ever, lasting under two seconds; 1.316 seconds to be exact. You
Suffer by English grindcore band Naplam Death was released in 1987 and Justin
Broadrick has said the band never intended to set a Guinness record.
"You Suffer was largely a comedy thing,
one-second song. Utterly retarded. It's ridiculous, but it was hilarious. We
played that song in front of 30 local kids, like, every weekend. We played that
song 30 times. It was a laugh," Broadrick is quoted as saying in Albert
Mudrian's book Precious Metals: Decibel Presents the Stories Behind 25 Extreme
Metal Masterpieces.
Scroll on down and you will see short songs don't have to suck.
Many associate this time of year with pastels and poultry peeps. Yet Christian chronicles say that Jesus was crucified for our sins and resurrected on Easter Sunday. If you've consumed too many ultra-rich rabbits or remained a comatose couch potato this past weekend, don't crawl up on the cross just yet. All Ears prescribes music therapy to help you overcome the guilt of your misdeeds.
LUST
Of course there are hundreds of thousands of love songs that would make good bed fellows for the sin of lust. However a song about strippers, or rather comparing politicians to dollar hungry whores, is my pick. Is there anything more awkward and lustful than being a spectator at a strip club?
Lapdance NERD
GLUTTONY
Modern thinkers usually view gluttony as one of the least severe sins. St. Gregory the Great had a different view of gastro-centric gobblers, writing that gluttony isn't just about eating too much. Gregory, a doctor of the church, considered adding spices to food or seeking out delicacies to be gluttonous actions in addition to over eating. Bjork is an artist who has devoured the world music scene, selling over 15 million albums. Her style and musical ascetic are a literal smorgasbord of sounds; spanning rock, electronic and experimental. If you're craving a great track to tide you over, nibble on this alt-rock hors d'oeuvre from one of Bjork's early Icelandic outfits.
I'm Hungry The Sugarcubes
GREED
Besides the obvious subject matter of this song, who better to represent the sin of greed than spotlight seeking, Taylor Swift-usurping, self-aggrandizing sample stealer Kanye West?
Gold Digger Kanye West feat. Jamie Foxx
SLOTH
Easily the most accessible sin, If I had the ambition I'd wager most Westernised readers indulge in sloth daily. According to the gospel sloth isn't only about inactivity. Loving sleep, resting on your laurels or simply squandering your gifts are all described as sloth in the Bible.
The Clash's Should I Stay or Should I Go speaks of indifference but the trackwasn't squandered on the music listening public. The song remains the band's only #1 UK single and was ranked at #228 on Rolling Stone's 500 Greatest Songs of All Time.
Should I Stay or Should I Go The Clash
WRATH
Anger, or wrath, is right up there with sloth as the most frequently indulged sin. Hopefully most individuals will never become so enraged they commit familicide as the character in Violent Femmes' Country Death Song does. Country Death Song was penned by Femmes leader Gordon Gano while stewing in tenth grade study hall and this tale of offspring offing is reportedly based on a documented murder-suicide from 1862. Fittingly this song appeared on the band's 1984 album Hallowed Grounds which relies heavily on Christian concepts.
Country Death Song Violent Femmes
ENVY
The Muffs are an unremarkable band, although I may have mislead you judging by how much I blog about them. They'll never win a Grammy or score a surprising opus but Kim Shattuck and company's music is perfectly peppy pop-punk. It's usually direct with straight-to-the-point lyrics. Example: I Wish That I Could Be You succinctly embodies the essence of envy.
I Wish That I Could Be You The Muffs
PRIDE
Pride isn't really a sin. From gays and lesbians to the psychotically patriotic, in many views pride is a positive asset to posses. However vanity and self-inflation are where pride can turn pitch black, sending the sinner into a self-congratulatory shame spiral.
Veruca Salt may not be as relevant today but their pleasant 1994 album American Thighs mixes '90s alt-rock with cushy coffee house chick cool. Nina Gordon and Louise Post should be proud.
As summer winds down and the last long weekend speeds by, many will embark on road trips to chase down the fleeting sunshine. Here are fifteen of my favourite road trip/car songs; a soundtrack that is sure to get your pistons firing. I could have included Mercedes Benzby Janis Joplin, Truckin' by Grateful Dead or War's Low Rider but since I included other songs by these oldies-but-goodies in my last couple of posts, I'll omit them.
Happy trails.
